Mara-mara

Am I in a Lifetime Movie?

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:35:01 GMT

Hello all,

I haven't written much on here because I have another account that I use more frequently but I today I felt like writing some.

I have been having a couple of really odd months lately. It almost feels like I am living someone else's life or that I am in some sort of movie that has yet to end. You know the ones where stuff just keeps happening to the main characters and you 're like:

"Oh man, all this crap at once? How can anybody deal with that?"

Well

Apparently, stuff really happens like that in real life. It just still feels surreal to me.

About the 2nd week of march, I went bike riding and when I got home I as very sore around my abdomen, so I figured :

"Oh, I haven't exercised in a while, I probably just sprained something."

I figured it would go away eventually and I just made sure I drank lots of fluids in case it was a UTI or something like that. I am feeling really run down lately, but as my sister in law had been living with us for some time,and has just left, I chalked it up to re adjusting to a lower stress level.

March 27th: I went with Kiryu to go see Spamalot, which was very excellent, but I remember I felt very hot the whole evening and a bit uncomfortable, but I chalked it up to Bob Carr being very packed and the seats being very tiny.

March 29th: James and I went to the Flower Garden Festival at Epcot, nmet up with Kiyru had lunch in Italy (very tasty) and generally hung around and took pictures. I had to keep going to the restroom and to sit down a lot becasue I felt very ,very tired all of a sudden after lunch. We went home and then early sunday morning, I woke up with the worse leg cramps ever, I have gotten these before when visiting theme parks but not quite so painful and not in both legs. Also it woke me from a dead sleep so they were really bad. Even so it eventually calmed down and I went back to sleep thinking okay I am fine jut gotta eat more bananas, drink more water.

March 30th: Woke up in the morning and my abdomen hurt so bad I could hardl get out of bed. It was mostly on the right side and I had all the symptoms of appendicitis, except fever so we went down to the Winter Park Memorial emergency room. I am admitted to Hospital.

After examination, a ultrasound and an MRI ( which I was scared of, but turns out not quite so bad as a pet scan. I felt more relaxed here then at the PET imagining center.) It turns out it's not appendicitis, but another cyst on my ovary. A 17 cm one at that and it had wrapped itself around the tubes and was putting pressure on my bladder and generally causing pain and being a nuisance.

Dr comes in and transfers me to Florida Hospital near princeton, becasue she is concerned it may be a malignant tumor, so I get a new Doctor who likes to come in at 5 am to talk to me. :) HIs name is Bigsby and he blocks out the light from the room because he is so tall, of course this is my thinking at 5 am. I didn't really mind the time, because I wasn't really sleeping at all.

I am scheduled for a laproscopy, which is where they just kind of drill holes to do surgery instead of opening you up. The Dr says we will try to do it this way, but we may have to remove everything if it turns out to be cancerous. I am a bit concerned because I had a laproscopy last year to remove a 13 cm cyst, which My dr at the time had said was benign. I do not understand how it can change in just one year.

So long story short, I had major surgery and they had to remove everything. I had a complete hysterectomy and also some lymph nodes removed. I am not really sure how I feel about this yet. Now thaat I am home from the hospital, It is just now starting to sink in what this means. It means I won't be able to have children, something whcih I have always wanted. It also means no more menstral cycle, which I am happy about that a little I never really liked it, but it also means I am Menopausal now? Which I think is kinda funny.

I also am havng to think about cancer treatment. The Doctor says that I have 2 cancers. Uterine and Ovarian. We are ignoring the uterine becasue it is not as bad as the ovarian, which is " aggressive". ( small-cell neuro endocrine ovarian cancer.)

I had to go for a Pet scan last friday, which I did not like. They injected me with radioactive isotopes and then I had to drink this nasty contrast liquid and then I get tied to this little uncomfortable table and have to try my hardest to stay completly motionless, and not freak out which of course is what I want to do becasue Im claustrophobic and this is really very hard for me. But I got through it.

Monday, we go back to Dr to discuss my chemo treatments and to prepare for another surgery on wed to install a port for the chemo treatments. I am scared of chemo. I am not as scared as I was, because I have talked to a friend's mom who had breat cancer and went through chemo so I know a little of what to expect, but I am still scared. The pet scan looks to see if there are other cancer cells in the body, so I am slightly worried I may have more then what was in the uterus and ovaries. I am trying not to think of it,

Everything is happening so fast and so quickly, that I'm still not sure if it is really me that it is happening to. It all seems like a lifetime movie. :)

I am trying to look at things with a sense of humor, but it is really hard for me especially when I don't normally look at life like that. I am a very serious minded indivdual. I tend to worry a lot. I am trying not to though becasue I think it is important to remain calm and laugh.

The Dr. says I will lose my hair, so I tell everyone:

"Well, I have bad dandruff, so maybe this will fix it."

Also I have lost a lot of weight through this whole process and will probably lose more, although I am a great lover of food so we'll see.
I really don"t recommend this diet plan to anyone, although Hospital Food will help you not to eat.

If you see me and I look down send me really funny e-mails or tell me a joke and help to to look at things from a humorous viewpoint. I know I am asking a lot, and to lean on all of you a lot but I think I will need all your help. Thank you all and I love you guys!!

Doll-Making

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 00:21:20 GMT

Hi I thought I would post about Dolls today and some of the dolls that I have made.

Vash the Stampede was made to accompany me on trips to various conventions. I also was inspired by a web site called The adventures of Sock puppet Ally, a site which I have not been able to find again and I think is defunct. It was a very Nice Site telling the adventures of Ally ( a sock puppet of Allan Schazar? from Escaflowne). Vash is not in his costume because it is very hot here and the coat I made him was from a heavy linen- type material. I did not scotch guard him which was a mistake, because as a boy he gets very, very dirty.(especially when He and Little Bear play and climb trees together.)

He loves to make cookies. I know in the anime he loves Doughnuts but mine's crazy about cookies; however, I think that Little Bear has put him up to this mostly, as Little Bear is the cookie connoseur. They help me every year with christmas baking which consists of getting me to look the other way, while they sneak the cookies. Vash has been to AWA, Dragon Con, MegaCon, and Jacon. He has only been out and been carried around where people can see him at AWA. We havent been to a convention in awhile though.

I am very proud of the fact that Vash was my first major sewing attempt after the disater in middle school trying to get mom to teach me to sew a shirt. I still hate sewing collars, but I managed to complete Vash with minimal help and from then on I have been sewing off and on ever since. I have made several costume( those i need some help on) but its just really cool to see stuff taking shape before your eyes although I am the first to admit that I am not a patient person so i get frustrated with myself easily which is why i take longer on most projects then most people. That being said I made all these ones below within 1 month and am very happy with the results.

I made a copy of Vash for my newphew, Devin. Devin loves to make Vash dance a lot and it ended up with vash being played with very roughly.

Now I Know what you are going to say...

"But Mara, Its a doll, they are meant to be played with, and he is a boy!"

I know but, Vash was my first doll. The sewing is very "gurrella-tactic" and his stitches didn't hold so well, I had to sew his arm back on twice and repair a rip in his neck. So I made Devin his own doll. I double sewed it and scotch guarded it and sewed the hair on very very tightly.

(You see Devin is only just now 3 years old. )

I named Devin's doll Davy because the whole time I was making him I watched Labyrinth, or read labyrinth fan fics. A very guilty pleasure. Now I didn't think that naming the doll after the goblin king was a good idea especially when he was going to be a presnt for a kid, so i named him after David Bowie.

I'm sure Devin has renamed him by now.

The second doll was another run for fun. My husband named her Millie. She has grey hair and green eyes and I gave her to my mom. Little Bear says that she is his girlfriend.. My my they grow up so quick. I will post pictures of Davy and Millie as soon as I get a hold of them again.

Fern was made because I was inspired by this wonderful web page dedicated to dolls:

http://dollmaker.nunodoll.com/nekomimi/pink.html

I used a different pattern and made the ears out of felt, mainly becasue I was just messing around with the idea. Fern is the third doll. She loves animals, espically cows. She saw lots of them on the move up here from Orlando and Vash and Little Bear taught her to moo at them. She now "Moos" at any four legged animal that happens to be outside as we pass by in the car. She loves shells and loves to cook regular food, not desserts. Which in this family is strange.

Fern has adopted the Cardinal as her pet and cried when I took it away to give it a backing. She has it back now. She also now has a love affair for dill pickles. which is strange as I hate dill pickles. I only like sweet pickles.

I still have plans at the moment for two more dolls. One is a present for My mother in Law, The doll will have blond yarn hair and green or blue eyes. I found these cute yellow buttons ( from my mom's button stash) that looked so cheerful, so I just decided that she will be called Sunny. ( the doll, not my Mother in Law...*^_^*)

The other is going to be a presnt for a friend, a doll of the New Dr. Who (David Tennet) complete with pinstipe suit and if I can find them red hightop shoes and a mini- sonic screwdriver. I want to try and make a gift box Tardis too. As of yet, I have not started on these projects.

Please go here for pictures: http://marasquara.spaces.live.com/photos/cns!A1FD674A13669E02!128/

Thoughts on Movies

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 18:21:29 GMT

I was surfing today and was going through all the movies out there to see if I really wanted to go and see the new Simpsons movie. I have not decided on that yet but I did come across some interesting finds:

They are naming horror movies after people I know.

First, There was Stacy

http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=542364

My best friends name is Stacy. During our many visits to anime and sci- fi conventions, we happened across this movie. We had a great laugh about it and she even bought a copy to show at the local anime club or at home or something.

Then, a few years later, there was *ahem*
Tamara
http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=2060108

Now there are some similarities here, in that I was "unpopular" at school who wasn't? and a very shy and quiet girl. She does pronounce her name differently than I do.
I did happen to see some of this movie, but turned it off due to the horrible acting. Although I was trying to think if I had gone to school with any of the directors to see if that's where they got the name.

On a side note, a lot of people pronounce it oddily.   It is a very unusual name.The weirdest I have ever been called is some one who couldnt even pronounce it at all and so just called me Tree becasue I was so tall. Or my old job where they just called me "T". Very Odd anyway on with the show...

This is a new horror/suspense type movie that I found, that looks to be in the same vein of The Good Son from a few years back with Elijah Wood.

It is called Joshua.
http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=2106232

I have a brother named Joshua who happens to play the piano sometimes and is very quiet.

It was just somethign very weird I noticed...

I've just noticed too we seem to have a lot of bible names in the family too. Several Johns ( my dad, his dad, his grand dad  and my brother in law plus several others in the family tree, whichmakes geneolgy a nightmare), Joshua (my brother), Mary( my great grandmother on dad's side, my grandmother on dad's side and my mom), Joseph (my uncle) James ( my husband) Paul( my other uncle). Im not sure if Devin ( my nephew and my cousin) is a bible name, but we have two in the family. I had a freind once who had a sister who changed her name from Rachel to Leah. Which I thought was very interesting seeing as how those two names are together in one of the bible stories I read. I'm not sure if my name is in there; I think there is a variation on it but not sure.

Anyway its very neat once you start seeing patterns in things...

Pensacola

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 13:55:23 GMT

Well Pensacola is interesting. I can't really say that I like it too much yet. I am still looking for a job hoping to avoid retail if at all possible, but it seems like this is the only thing available up here right now. I have applied to a state job that looked interesting.
I am having trouble adjusting still, and when I do talk to people they are all like oh you'll be fine and I cried for 3 months and etc and I know I will adjust but I really am having trouble and please dont tell me I told you so i hate that.
Anyway....

So far the only thing I like without a doubt is the beach we went to here. Perdido Key, the Gulf Coast 's version of the national seashore. The sand on the beaches squeak and it is beautiful. White clean sand with no cigerette buts or trash and you can see the bottom. The main reason why I never went swiming in Cocoa or Daytona Beach was I couldn't see anything at all in the water that was murky and icky. ( Of course there was one time in Sanibel Island that I swear something took a bite out of me and I totally freaked, and my dad made fun of me until i pulled my leg out of the water and there was this big scratch down it....He still made fun of me and said i was over-reacting about it)The water here is so clear.
The only thing that kinda freaked me out was all the signs that said to shuffle your feet, inc ase of manoraystringrayshark fish or something like that. When I did swim in beaches down near Otown I never ever shuffled my feet, so who know how close I came to getting shark-rayed!

Some of the roadsigns are amusing too, like the one that says "I HUAL ANYTHING" tacked to various trees around the neighborhood. I am not the world's greatest speller but I would double check everything before I'd put up an ad for service. But maybe that's how they spell it up here...:)

The library cards are nicer too, they have a picture of a heron on them.

The things I don't like are the job market and for some reason all the stores smell funny up here. I dont know why maybe damage from past hurricanes and its still the clean up smell from them but they all smell funny. And there are no Publix up here. I really miss Publix. There is one that is about 45 minutes away but that's too far for groceries .

Which I really shouldnt say considering when I was a kid, we lived way out in BFE and we had to drive 45 minutes to an hour if we wanted to go to a bigger grocery store then the local one, Meat World.
Now Meat World had a specific smell but it was a nice smell like the kind you get when you go to the Farmer's market. Anyway

I dont like it either becasue Im so far away from everyone I know and everything I knew in Orlando Okay Its not that far away but Ive never been away from Home for more then 2 months , and I knew I was going back home, so this is going to be a lot different for me. I may end up returnng to Otown if I can't find anything. But Im trying here for James Sake. He seems to like it here, He started at the Naval Hospital as a pharmacy tech. He seems to be enjoying himself. The time change is weird here too and someone threw away my african violet pots one of the landscapers I think. I guess I shouldn't of put them out on the patio.Oh well.

Update

Fri, 11 May 2007 16:34:55 GMT

Boy I really need to start posting here more often...

Well To update everyone who dosent know.

I am engaged.
Date set for April 5th 2008. But it may change due to some new Happenings:

James(fiance) has gotten a job in Pensacola. We will probally be moving in June. I m excited a little about it, having never moved in 29 years to now moving three times in the past 2 years. I think i will be okay, just new experiences and all that. I will miss all of you! Dont know when we are moving yet but it will probally be in june I will update with date later.

Work and Stuff

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 18:42:39 GMT

Well

Boss faked being sick yesterday so I told her this morning I had a appt. Which wasn't exactly a lie, just not the whole truth, So I left at 12:15 and am sitting here eating lunch and relaxing.

I used to not do stuff like this. I am feeling no guilt what so ever. It just seems that eveyone else is getting away with it, so rather then getting upset and unhappy about " why so and so are not doing their jobs, I am giving in. Why fight it?

I used to stay late, do what ever other co workers wanted me to research, even if its not my department, took work home unpaid because I thought that it would be helpful and considerate.

You know what i found out?

That I doing these thing made me happyand that I had a " job well done"?

Absolutly not.

People take advantage of me. So, Im not going beyond what it is I need to do. So Far I have been slightly happier. The only problem is that now that I've been a certqain way for so long its hard to stop dong it.

Spring Time

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:20:51 GMT

I really am starting to hate shopping for clothes. Society forces me into wearing jeans and T-shirts.
I can sew, but unfortunately my sewing machine was dropped by an idiot who owned it before me and cannot do buttons holes so I ask the Universe:

Why
Why
Why
must every dress for larger gals come with a jacket that has shoulder pads?

do they assume every dress needs to have a jacket?

Do dress makers everywhere assume that larger girls want to look like they play for the local football team??

do the dresses that do fit me look like Great great grandma Eunice should be wearing them??

I am only a size 18 for crying out loud , I should be able to find something.

I can only imagine that looking for a wedding dress will bring me to tears/insanity.

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 00:32:34 GMT

Well Yesterday was very interesting. It went okay just odd things happened.

I had a baby shower for a work friend, a rather large one with over 50 people so that was kinda unusual anyway, but while I was getting ready for it, My mom had come into the house from the Garden and a wren flew into the house, so we tried to coax it back out into the garden and it flew into the stairway where i have these little wooden carved birds that i had hanging on coat pegs, so i guess they were realistic enough to fool the wren, any way she flew upsatiars freaked out a little and eventually we got her to fly out the window so it was okay.
So that crisis averted, I left for the shower and while driving there, It was being held at a restaurant I saw one of friends going to the baby shp\ower and followed her, becasue I wasn't sure where it was, the thing was we didn't plan it that way and we live on opposite ends of town, so tha fact that we managed to see each other on the road was unusual. So far two weird things, Baby shower went okay, nothing much really
So I went home and about 2 minutes from the house just as I was about to turn on to my street I saw all these para-gliders, the motorized kind, but a big group of em like maybe 8 or 9. At first glance, it looked rather spooky like pterdactyls or flying monkeys or something, but only until I realized what they were. Also they were kind of shilouted against this bright bluish sky which made them kind of spooky too. That was weird because you hardly ever see them and then to see a large group of them, weird.
I turned on my road, My dad was driving towards me stops the car and tells me he's going to the store , okay another weird chance meeting on the road, although this probally has occured at least a couple times, but is still very rare...
End of weird things...

So I think the Universe was trying to tell me something or just letting me know it has everything under control...
Not really scary just telling me its out there.

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 02:07:12 GMT

Hee I just found it I knew I wasn't crazy!!
http://www.theofficialjohncarpenter.com/pages/themovies/ds/ds.html

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 01:57:01 GMT

Hey all
I am being driven crazy by a movie that i saw once or twice as a kid. It was a sci-fi movie and all i can remeber of it, besides it being very very awful wa that there was this elevator shaft type thing in the middle of the space ship and it had this bouncing ball type creatre that one of the crew memebers was keeping as a pet, he got mad at it and it killed him and then something happened to the ship and these other two crew members were floating off in space and they decide that since they were going to die anyway they might aas well surf into the surface of the earth/sun? and that is how the movie ended. For the life of me I just can't remember the title, i think it was made in the 1970's and I pretty sure it is real i don't think i am making up a false memory. If this sounds familar to anyone let me know!

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 17:23:05 GMT

Name the era, and you can name every artist from
it. You've got an eye for design and a knack
for feng shui. Color schemes, architecture, and
objt d'art - these are all your forts.
What people love: You're the perfect person to shop
with.
What people hate: They have to clean their house
whenever you come over.

What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wonder if this is really true. I 've been to ppl's house before but sometimes they aren't clean...

Stuff

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 04:03:37 GMT

Well I think Shipping is going to become interesting.Orders are probally going to be delayed due to hurricane Rita.
What is really weird is today I kept hearing in my in my head "Lovely Rita Meter Maid" but insted of that I was thinking this:

Stupid Rita!
Hurr-i-cane

Ah well. I saw today on the news that some guys want to drop the inside parts of baby diapers (that absorbent material) into hurricanes to slow them down/completly disfuse them(?). I think that in the 60's the Military tried this before, and it didn't work, or it did but they couldn't replicate the test results so they stopped doing it. I know that it is a very serious thing, this Hurricane and I wish everyone well and hope they all escape with a minimum of damge to their homes and buisnesses but after hearing this baby diaper thing all I could picture in my head was a billion diapers flying into Texas and covering everything.

In other news, my mom's work had an unusual thing happen. A guy ran a red light, sideswiped another car and ran into the building where she worked. He had to have been going pretty darn fast, becase their business is not level with the ground/ you have to go up a couple of steps to get to the front door. Stupid Jerk. So far all he was charged with is running a red light. He should be made to pay a hefty fine for driving into a building, maybe with a title like Stupid Moron Ticket 200$.*^_^*

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 16:37:43 GMT

had a dream about waterspouts escaping on a mo-ped, an airplane flying upside down surrouned by heliocopters and grabbing the really important things out of my house.

Very wacky

I 'm guessing it has something to do with anxiety about Hurricanes and the house. Grabbing the stuff perhaps worried that the house won't live through another hurricane. As for the plane: perhaps I'm traveling to a destination, but going about it in an unusual way.

Could just be a dream though.

I also Had one this week about Muppets doing phantom; I liked that one so much I want to write it out, only in my dream Piggy was cast as Christine, Gonzo was the phantom, which kinda makes sense as i think he used to have a crush on piggy before the chickens, Kermit wwas raoul and I was watching this on television with my dad in the dream and it was piggy and kermit standing in front of this jewelry store window, and then it kinda focused in on miss piggy's hand and there was this simple gold ring on her hand. then it cut to a upset looking gonzo with what looked like dried paper mache all over his face, then it cut back to a stage with nothing on it but a fainting couch in the back and piggy in ballet dress lying onthe couch and then she got up and started ballet dancing but she was wearing this black greek drama ish mask and then she danced for a while and then started floating up then the show cut to a commerical..and the commerical was another dancer but who was surrounded by these floating lights that made her skirt. I called my mom in from the kitchen who was washing dishes, to see this weird show but she got upset and threw a towel down and then I woke up...

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 16:19:49 GMT

Woo I found my old live journal thingy! I had forgotten so i made another. oh well. will update more later today

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 16:41:30 GMT

Work is very slow today, but starting the 25th it will be heck, we have about twenty orders all over 300 stores to ship on that day. Hopefully we will get the merch in before that.

Not much to say today really.

Mon, 31 May 2004 21:13:21 GMT

Mom I haven't done a update in quite a while. Let's see what has happened recently...

Well I am now an aunt to Devin Randall, who was born on april 26th, and Jacon went well, fresh fish lounge was success and cyberia went well also.

Iron Cosplay was fun. I am going to try and make a new costume for AWA. or at least finish the one I started. I am going to be driving up with Erin this year i think so I'll have to get in practice for that. I have never dri ven out of state before. So we'll see how that goes But I suppose it is about time. ( hope gas prices go down by september, it's killing me that it take so much money to fill the tank up and I have to drive to tampa about every other weekend it seems) But That's still a ways a way so I'm sure that i can handle the drive. I hope any way well gotta go

Feeling low

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 04:26:08 GMT

Well work is okay, we are going to be really busy at the end of the month. Busy enough to have a second shift in shipping.(say that three times fast)

Megacon was alot of work. But worth it, cyberia was packed and of course more con stories were created.
Veery tired but feeling okay since weekly Amego's Dinner and Maragrita. had a regular one and discovered thath they had strawberry ones.

I will be an Aunt in May!My newphew is due somewhere around my birthday, so hopefully he come on the 16th. i just hope i can be a really kewl aunt and not be so screwed up. I've been rather down on myself lately. But there is always a silver lining to every cloud and things happen for a reason. Or some nonsense like that. I think i will go out side and look at stars for a nit before bed.

So Long For Now.

Mara-mara

Stuff

Sun, 28 Dec 2003 17:46:41 GMT

haven't posted in a while so here goes:

I have a new office at work now. Yipppie! I don't have to share it with anyone and I have a window that has a lovely view of the gigantic garbage disposal.

It is nice becasue now when I have miles of paperwork to go through I can shut the door and have a bit of quiet rather than being in the middle of a noisy warehouse.

Christmas as pretty kewl and stuff. I got an Easel and stuff for my new car. I also got this huge nail care kit and I don't even know what half the stuff does. There this knife looking thing (that sort of resembles a stitch ripper, but without that little ball on the end that prevents you from ripping the fabric.) that I think may be a cuticle remover but not too sure on that one.

I have not seen the last installment of Lord of the Rings yet but I did see Peter Pan and it was pretty kewl. Hook was well portrayed and I really would like to make his outfit one of these days. Well have a nice new year's Bye!

Costume Contest

Tue, 30 Sep 2003 01:46:51 GMT

Hey AWA was great fun I entered into the costume contest as The Baron from the cat returns, and even though I didn't win anything it was lots of fun! I got a lot of compliments and I now have more experience with sewing. I have more of a understandin about how patterns work as well. It was great being there in Atlanta with all my friends. I had a great time, and Anime Sushi's Dance was a success!

YIppie!

Here is the link for the costume:

http://www.animesushi.com/modules.php?set_albumName=album09&id=res61907&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php
hopefully thath should work if not go to :www.animesushi.com

Bye for now

Poetry Readings

Wed, 09 Jul 2003 17:32:35 GMT

I rad this interesting article on reading poetry aloud at this address:

http://slate.msn.com/id/2085209/

I like poetry.( but I do not like all of it) One of my favorites: Stopping by Woods on a snowy Evening was one of the poems you could listen to in this article.It was read by Mr. Robert Frost himself. I had always thought that this was a poem of quiet contemplation. He's going through the woods, sees the snow falling and pauses to reflect upon it. To me, it invokes images of frosty ewinters,huddling under blankets or your coat in the snow, a soft crunch as you walk and see your breath in the air in front of you, where evrything is silent andit seems as if the whole world was asleep.

I have always read and said this poem aloud slowly but Frost trips through it like he's skipping stones over a river. Very fast paced and not at all contemplative. Like he's running for cover from gunfire. I suppose since it is his poem he's reading it correctly but it seems to me that it is better suited for a quieter reading.

There are other poems he mentions but I was most famliar with Frost and The charge of the Light Brigade, but the static on the reading makes it hard to listen to.

I do have recommended authors if anyone would like:

Tenniyson
Lewis Carrol
Longfellow
Edgar Allen Poe
Walt Whitman
Walter De La Mare
Ruyard Kipling
Wordsworth
Shakespeare
Samuel taylor Coleridge
I liked Emily Dickison but ever since someone told me you could sing all her poems to the Yellow Rose of Texas they have been ruined for me.

I remember this snippet of a poem :

I must go Down to the Sea Again
to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship
and a star to steer her by
and the wind's kick
and the wheel's turn
and the grey dawn breaking
and a grey mist on the sea's face
and a white sail shaking...

SOmething like that anyway. I really love the ones about the sea...

I like the poem thay use in that truck commerical too read by Jim Rockford(not his real name but who he played in a t.v show.)
I remember people groaning in class when ever we had to do poetry and I always felt weird because I always looked forward to it.

well So long for now!

Interesting Stuff

Tue, 01 Jul 2003 00:49:00 GMT

I was surfing and I found this article on MSN Tech News.

June 30, 2003 / 8 p.m. ET
Elusive pentaquark captured: Four decades ago, physicists proposed that subatomic particles were made up of different combinations of even smaller units known as quarks — a word that was lifted from James Joyce’s difficult-to-comprehend novel “Finnegans Wake.”
Quarks are similarly difficult to comprehend: As shown in this complex chart, it takes three quarks to make a proton or neutron, and two quarks to make a pion or kaon.
But could there be a combination of, say, five quarks? No one could say for sure — until now. For the first time, two teams of particle physicists are reporting solid evidence for a new class of particles known as “pentaquarks.”
“People have looked for this for over 30 years,” said Ohio University’s Ken Hicks, who led a team at the CLAS Collaboration at the Jefferson Lab. “So now we’ve found the first unambiguous evidence.”
Hicks’ team is just now submitting its results for publication. Meanwhile, research from the LEPS Collaboration, headed by Osaka University’s Takashi Nakano, is being published in the July 4 issue of Physical Review Letters.
Both groups use high-powered beams to read the entrails of particle collisions — but neither group expected to find the five-quark combination, Hicks said. It took a specific prediction by theoretical physicist Dmitri Diakonov to spark a closer examination of data that were collected for other purposes.
“We thought, ‘Well, we already have the data, so it’s easy to just filter the data and we’ll come up with a no-result and publish that his theory was wrong.’ But the tables were turned in this case, which doesn’t happen very often in this field. … He was almost bang-on,” Hicks said.
Hicks was reluctant to call the newly discovered particle a five-quark combination, because one of the constituent particles is actually an antistrange quark. “A four-quark object where they’re all regular quarks could not exist by the rules, and five quarks alone couldn’t exist. But the four quarks and one antiquark could,” he said.
Physics News Update says the pentaquark discovery is of compelling interest to physicists because it represents “a new classification of matter, like a new limb in the family tree of strongly interacting particles.”
Hicks put it in similar terms: “In biology, if you look at all living things, they fit into two categories, plants and animals. This would be like finding a new strain of animal. It’s not going to upset the apple cart, it’s not going to change the Standard Model. In a sense it is filling in the blanks, but it’s one of those things where people have searched for it for a long period of time.”
Hicks said he already has proposed a new series of Jefferson Lab experiments that would delve more deeply into pentaquarks, to determine more precisely how long such particles live and how the constituent quarks hang together.
Among Hicks’ key collaborators on the research is Stepan Stepanyan of Jefferson Lab, who reported the results at a particle physics conference last month. Hicks’ research is funded by the National Science Foundation; Jefferson Lab is managed and operated by Southeastern Universities Research Association for the U.S. Department of Energy. You can learn much more about the pentaquark findings at Hicks’ Ohio University Web site.
The federal government is also funding other lines of quark research, including studies on quark-gluon plasma at Brookhaven National Laboratory’s Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider. Such research may not result in immediate practical benefits, but it should shed new light on the mysterious forces that bind quarks to each other and make matter possible, Hicks said.
“Looking at new phases of matter is interesting,” he said, “and we learn more about the universe, and what could have happened in the early universe.”

Neat!

Traffic and Vacations Past

Thu, 26 Jun 2003 13:49:53 GMT

Traffic is getting really bad in Oviedo.

I must question the logic of working on a main road, in the middle of Rush Hour.

It would be nice if they could work on it for a couple of hours in the early morning, say like 5 to 7 then stop for a bit and go back to it at 9 or 10 am. I was so frustrated that I turned around and went back home. I shouldn't have to leave my house at 6:30 to make a fifteen mile drive! Arghhh!

On a happier note, It's almost vacation time for me. My dad got this card for a log cabin retreat in North Carolina. I was thinking it would be fun to do, But I don't think I have enough time this year to reserve one. I miss going up there for vacations. I love the Blue Ridge Parkway. We would drive up there and stay fro about a week, mainly around Asheville and Maggie Valley. We would drive the parkway,look for roads with hairpin turns ( the kind that go under the part you were just driving on.) and pick apples at Flat Rock in Sky Top Orchard.
http://www.skytoporchard.com/
It gets darker earlier there,because you are surrounded by the mountains. The scenery is infused into your mind because it impresses all five senses. There are ice cold mountain streams to wade into, a permeating smell of sweet grass mingled with forest and sunshine everywhere, the sight of mist and clouds slowly creeping over the multicolored mountains, the call of wild birds and night crickets in the midday, the fresh way the mountains look right after a rain fall, the way it can be raining on one side and you drive through a tunnel and it is sunny on the other. the air tastes different too. I equate it with apples and picnic food and different jams and jellies and farmers's stands on the side of the road selling fresh fruit. I love the way your legs feel all wobbly after climbing out of the car from a two hour drive through the mountains, the way your ears pop, as you gain and lose altitude. I love driving through the tunnels and honking the horn(even though I think they don't really want you to do that...) I love spotting wild blackberries and trying to spot wild animals. I love the way the clouds move over the mountains as you are standing on the look out and watching the mountains go in and out of shadow. I love the rush of driving on the parkway and going by the curves, where there are no guardrails and the side is straight down the mountain. I love the way the sunlight would hit the trees just at a certain time and make everything look a bit other worldly. I love going into little general stores and finding weird off the wall items. I always feel a bit bittersweet whenever we drive through a town that is in the process of dying. It makes me wonder what it was like to live there while it was successful. I love going throiugh towns like that because you can usually find more of the ;local flavor. There are far better and cheaper restaurants if you go off the beaten path more often. One place we went was Granny's Kitchen in Cherokee.

http://dininginthesmokies.com/_cheroke/aagrakit.htm. a very small place to be sure but the service was great and they had the best mashed potatoes I have ever eaten in my life. The rest of the food was good too, but for some reason the mashed potaoes stand out in my mind. They were located across from Santa Land. A theme park based around Santa Claus..:) It was closed because the season had not started yet. It was very strange to us that it had seasons, because, being from Florida, I think my family was used to theme parks being open year round ala Disney and Universal Studios.
We have traveled on Bat Caves road.:) (although if My name was Bruce Wayne, I would make it a point in my life to move there)
We are usually up there in time for the Hendersonville Apple Festival, which is much like the Strawberry festival down here only with Apples.
http://www.cojoweb.com/henville-applefestival.html

I believe A Mast General Store is located there. http://www.mastgeneralstore.com/locationshv.php3
It is like an old timey store, sells candy in barrels and you can get all sorts of dry goods, anad clothing and stuff. (The orignal one is in Valley Cruce, and I think it is kept like it was in 1883.)

Hendersonville also has several really kewl antique stores there too. I found some old 1940's magazines there with pictures on how to identify allied and axis planes! I thought it was a neat bit o' history and I am planning on framing them eventually.
I love finding the christmas tree farms too, and every christmas we always try to find a place that sells trees from North Carolina, because it may have been one that we saw on our earlier travels. I regret that in themany times we have been up there, that I have yet to go to Builtmore Estate. I have always wanted to go up and see it at christmastime, I hope that one day I will have a chance. reguardeless, North Carolina is full of interesting things to do and see. Give it a try if you are ever heading up that way.
This is a link to the National Park.
http://www.nps.gov/blri/v

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 18:52:29 GMT

I'm Happy again. well at least complaicent.. Sorry I was whining

About 3/3's of the way through the hp book. You guys are all pretty sick of hearing about it already though I'm sure.. So I won't talk about it any more...

watched this really kewl thing on sunday morning harry potter about a taxi cab driver who harry potter went to his prom and harry potter graduated 55 years late. He was having harry potter a ball at the prom with his wife, but the amusing thing was he was dancing harry potter with all the young girls there and harry potter they didn't show him dancing with his wife once!:)harry potter Thought it was cute.

My brother wants to know if any of you have read the Dark Elf Triology? ice wind dale trilogy and others,

And How many of you play role playing games?

Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Well okay not really!

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 11:20:10 GMT

Ok I feel better today. I needed sleep I guess. I am going to sneak in and take a nice relaxing bath and tie up the bathroom for hours, and read my HP Book. I will listen to my headphones so that when they repeatetly bang on the door, I won't be able to hear them and they will have to use the other bathroom!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

I'm so EVvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllll!

Hi I'm Eeyore.

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 02:48:51 GMT

Once again I find myself in a bad mood, upset because I did not want to go back out in the rain with my brother's girlfriend to Eckards and now I feel I bad for not wanting to. They brought over there big dog, and I don't like big dogs (this stems from having been bitten by one when I was little, although I don't remember the actually event, I do remember it getting wrapped up, weird...)And I am scared of it. And I feel bad, I guess because of the way I was raised or maybe how I think that it dosen't matter what I want to do,think,feel,want dosen't matter as long as the other people are okay.As long as we do what they want. If I put my foot down or say No or don't want to do something I'm being a bitch or "moody" or am pms'ing. I *really* hate that. I know that it is a bunch of crock and this isn't really the case but sometimes I feel like this and it really depresses me. but I also went to a meeting before hand and I guess we got stuff sorted out but the meeting seemed so negative. I have a tendency to absorb moods so I think I may have picked some of it up, And as I was in a good mood when I arrived I hate losing it. It's very uncool to lose my happy high because then I get down so low and it takes forever to get back up again.Also I always feel guilty too. that I have been working on, so it's not as bad as it was in high school .

I like to be alone a bit when I am coming back up, because you know how people will ask you to do stuff and you're still annoyed at your self for being sad and eeyorye and they just won't really leave you alone till you calm down. I always think they think I am being stupid or childish or something.I am 27 years old and still feel like a 10 year old who has to ask for things.

I really am not totally clinically insane, I just like weird stuff and wear my heart on my sleeve I guess. I'll try not to be so sensitive.

*sigh*

I just want to read my Harry Potter Book.